Town Mouse (TM), wearing California Poppy shorts and mouse ears.
Country Mouse (CM), wearing furry jacket and mouse ears.
Mr. J. Savanna (JS), wearing large white hat.
Scene: Outside the Savanna! exhibit at the Flower and Garden Show.
Enter TM and CM, coming from the exit of the exhibit.
TM: Oh, that was most exciting!
CM: Yes, Indeed,
I love the sculptures and the tow'ring airy grass.
TM: The lighting and the sound are most impressive.
JS: Well met, well met fair mice! Your headgear likes me well!
TM: Oh thanks, and what a lovely hat YOU wear!
JS busies himself with paperwork.
TM: This fine exhibit shook us to our very soul,
But we were left with questions, dare we ask? --
Might plants in this display perchance invade,
Our wilds, when grown in California's clime?
JS: Invade?? INVADE?? A pox upon your native mousy ears!
I've worked with grasses for one hundred years
And I'm well schooled in scientific ways,
By which I mean that Never in my days
Has any grass of mine escaped into the wild -
How could you ask a question such as this of me??
TM and CM step back a few paces, and TM addresses audience:
TM to audience: I wonder if the only proof of which
He would admit would be annihilation
Of our native grasses, choked for space to grow
By plants with an unnatural advantage?
Then both take heart and are ready to respond.
CM: We're known as Ms'es Town and Country Mouse,
And all our passion is to write of California's native plants.
We've most assuredly seen problems with exotic plants,
And in the mountains where I dwell 'tis pampas grass that doth
Encloak our hills, and broom is so invasive, too.
They're crowding out our native vegetation -
So naturally we're curious and concerned.
JS: Tis not invasive grass that's the problem but the soil
That is disturbed.
aside: Like many advocates of native plants, I warrant.
CM to audience: And yet I've noticed pampas grass on craggy undisturb-ed slopes.
JS And let me just say this, I am so very
Very tired of all you fools and zealots in
The Native Plant Movement!
Forsooth, ye guys, the cat's escaped the bag,
So why continue to complain?
TM to CM: A cat! A cat! Dear friend let's scat!!
CM: No, silly dear tis but a metaphor.
TM: Oh, so he means if we gain weight, ten pounds or so,
We should give up all hope and just pig out.
Indeed some days I would agree with this approach!
CM: Oh nay, his logic holdeth not much moisture.
An if the soil disturb-ed be, or should we take less care or more,
When choosing plants with which to grace our garden plots?
JS: The Native Plant Movement has a vibe
So negative, why do they moan about my lovely grasses -
Instead they should fight lawns and such.
CM (to audience):
Methinks he doth protest too much. I feel emotion - anger? wrath? And what's
This Native Plant Movement wherof he speaks? Why are we
Not invited if it doth exist?
TM: Oh JS, Sir, I am distraught by how you think. Do you not know,
That in our hearts we really are all friends?
Each year, four hundred people to my humble garden go
Delighting in the Native Garden Show.
And while the natives do have pride of place,
I also show some plants from far away
That do not spread -
Don't plant a pest, that's all I ask!
The two gentle-mice exit stage left, pursued by a stare.
Collaborative post of Ms. T. Mouse, Ms. C. Mouse and Mr. W. Shakespeare (in spirit). Any resemblance with actual occurrences at the SF Flower and Garden Show are purely accidental.